Monday, March 30, 2009

Wait and Hope

Last night as I drove my brother home and we were talking about how life is going, where life is going, I realized that I'm ready. I'm ready to step back into the turbulence of preparing for my clinicals again. I'm emotionally biting at the bit. I don't think I would have gotten here if I hadn't been studying my textbooks, quietly, subtly reassuring myself that this is already in my head, I just needed to put it all back in my heart.

Defeat can crush a person. It's crushed me. But I heal, eventually. It takes time and it takes care. It takes a lot of faith to get back to where I am feeling confident again.

So here I am, realizing that I'll have to stuff my plastic wound with Puffs instead of medical gauze, realizing that I will have to invade friends' bubbles so I can figure out the proper place to stick a needle (without actually doing so, I'm not a sadist) for various injections, realizing that I'll need to find a good place to hang up that practice IV so I can calculate drip rates again.

And in the end, be the nurse that has always been inside.

In the meantime, I'm playing in Sock Madness again. Here's the result of Round One:

Mom is modeling them because they never come out *my* size. They may also wind up in the frog pond so I can have that Dream In Color back. ;) Hey, never said anything I knit was permanent and frogging is the poor girl's stash enhancement.

Happy Monday all!

P.S. here's that Cranberry Orange Muffin recipe I made the other day. It is molto bueno.

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