A wiener is me!

Well now, what with the advent of the Olympics ending (don't spoil it for me, I'm going to watch it while running tomorrow!), I am going to show off what I finished knitting last night:

It's the BONSAI TUNIC OF RAVELYMPIC GLORY, YAAAAAY!



It took two weeks and I made the second size up (38.5" bust one). It's a little snug but I believe I'll still lose more weight and I'll eventually fit it better. To celebrate 2008 and the Olympic Spirit, I ordered a Bobicus Maximus pin.


Bewbies. U kno u liek thems.

And thus I finish the Ravelympics with a new top and a sense of style. Yaaay!



Now onto the next project. ;3

Ravelympics - Days 1 & 2. Subtitle: Gauge swatching can kiss my ---

You would never know it, but this Cotolino hates me. Let me share my woes.

Day before yesterday: knitted a few gauge swatches. It was knitting up to about 22 stitches over 4 inches and the pattern I wanted required 24st/4". Fine. I went down a few needle sizes.

Yesterday: began the Josephine top (under "Projects", 5th one down on the gaunt model that it doesn't really fit). I knitted and knitted and watched LOST and knitted and watched the Opening of the Olympics and knitted some more until I had 4 inches of knitted garment where it said I was to measure and decrease. Dimensions were supposed to be 21.75" wide. My piece of smirking smugness? More along 30". Let's just say that I was not thinking charitable thoughts on the lying piece of lying crap!

So, last night, I began knitting swatches again. I dug out all my smaller circulars and began swatching on 3s. 22 st/ 4". WHAT. Fine. 2s. 23 st/4". This was ridiculous. Okay, let's see what the US#1s could do! ...

23 st/4".

ARRRGH!

Fine. This morning I decided to suck it up and started knitting all over on the 2s, working on the smaller pattern for people with chestes to the tune of 36.5" (in my dreams). I stopped after the first full working of the lace chart and measured. What was supposed to be 19 was...25". An improvement. What would fit an elephant before would now comfortably fit a horse instead. Niiice.

I woefully reported to Team Rubberneck that I was out of the Olympics before I even really started until several people told me that people with Dr. Horrible Ravatars were not allowed to throw in the towel and to pick something else out. I had already done that since I figured that the Josephine Top would just have to wait (and I wanted to throttle those who did make one with Cotolino because they must have done it while dancing naked around a bonfire during the rising of a blood moon while sucking down the tears of a prom queen virgin using those nifty beer-can-holding-hats...I want one--for water, of course).

I had gone through my Ravelry queue and after dismissing sweater pattern after sweater pattern (wrong gauge, wrong yarn, not enough, would look like a McD*n*lds paper sack after a month of blowing around on I-70), I settled on the Bonsai Tunic (second verse same as the first). It fit my gauge, it also used a plant fiber (I don't know how much cotton/linen differs from bamboo but they're both flammable and made from stuff that eats poo and turns green, why not?). But that was not the end of this Cotolino's tricks!

Because though it fit the gauge, it would not behave. After a full 2" in, I decided to measure. It was supposed to be 19" wide. It was 23". It took incredible self-control as well as the consideration of how long it took chemically burning my wrists in hot dishwater and factory soap to earn enough to buy the friggin' yarn to keep me from tossing it all in a pile and lighting it.

I took a deep breath. I went down a needle size. I watched some anime. I measured. It is behaving itself. For now.

Judge

I got a hair up my --- and it won't let me stay quiet.

You know, I may have been really naive for a lot longer than most kids but I didn't realize that people judged me by my differences until 6th grade. Yup, that's when it really struck me. I mean, I made friends with the kids no one else would sit with, not realizing that then others would associate me with the outcast rather than bringing the outcast in. But I think it's time I set the record straight.

I'm not blind. I can see when people make up their minds about me within 5 minutes of getting to know me. Or that they stick me in a slot that doesn't fit me because they know members of my family or friends or rumors. So I think I need to open some eyes here.

- I'm short, but that does not make me cute or young or willing to put up with your patronizing behavior.

- I'm blond but that does not make me a ditz, a moron, or a sheep following the bottle-blond herd.

- I've got blue eyes too. See above.

- I'm overweight. This does not make me lazy, greedy, or selfish.

- Sometimes I wear my hair curly. This does not make me silly.

- Sometimes I wear my hair straight. This does not make me sophisticated.

- I love anime, Renaissance Festivals, Mystery Science Theater 3000, and fantasy. This does not make me a dork or a geek.

- I'm a nurse but that doesn't mean I am going to diagnose the rash on your ---. Or anything else. See a doctor.

- I'm still single. That doesn't mean I want or need or deserve your pity, advice, or yenta-ism.

- I'm still a virgin. Do I seem naive, ignorant, prudish, or lonely to you?

- I have learned to want what I have and budget to afford what I don't have yet. Does that make me a rich snob?

- I'm LDS/Mormon. This does not mean I want a lot of children, that I never swear or drink caffeine, or will share my husband with other women.

Basically, I really don't fit your mold. Don't expect me to, I never will. No one ever really expects what I eventually reveal. I've surprised people with my appreciation of rock music, books thicker than my wrist, and knitting. Sometimes I don't mind, but sometimes I get so dang tired of the same old bias.

Break down your walls. Get to really know people around you. And get the hell off my lawn!

Hey, how about a Catching-Up post? We all love those.

1. HomesteadMom is still hoping to hit her $5k goal for her 3-Day Breast Cancer March. Click to donate and leave identifying info in case you win...a Wii Fit! I'd love a Wii Fit but her raffle tickets are 1 for $20 and 3 for $50 and I don't have that kind of money. Heh.

2.

There was spinning! I finished it all up and here is a little collage so you can see the process and the product:


I even made a funny, though it didn't really wind up being all that funny:

Click to Embiggen.

It was a real challenge and I have to admit that at the end, I was overwhelmingly sick of fiber and spinning and fleece. But now that I'm not spinning constantly, I'm thinking, "Gee, that was a nice respite from knitting!" but it's back into the fray becaaause--

3.
I joined Ravelympics! I'm in Team Rubberneckers because, well, I could. I'm planning on making the Johanna Top from the Interweave Knits Summer 2007 issue, a cap-sleeved sort of top made of DK weight cotton of which I have scads in a deep deep blue. I decided on it when I looked at the Ravelry Projects page and saw how it looked when appropriately filled out by actual people with breasts and curves. The model in the magazine does not do the poor top justice.

In the meantime, the lace design I'm making is coming slowly. It should look awesome but I'm not a fast knitter and now it's going to have to wait stoically again as I race through top-knitting. Fortunately, it's not going to be all that long, I only have so much cotton. ;)