Friday, February 13, 2009

About love.

Back in the day when my ancestors wore kilts and ran into battle naked, it was noised about by cousin clans that you do not dally with the R--- clan. They were friends of fairies and dabbled in witchery. Of course, now-a-days we suffer from depression, bipolarism, and in some extreme cases, schizoid paranoia. We also Do Not Talk About These Things. Which is why I do. HEY LOOK, THERE'S AN ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM!

What we DO talk about are things like "Why does Kirstin remain single while her cousins all have marriages and lots and lots of babies?" because that's somehow more relevant than mental illnesses that can be passed down to those lots and lots of babies. But I'm a patient girl. I don't mind answering this question but I doubt it will be of any help to anyone.

Why Kirstin is still single, by Kirstin.

1. She might not have been! Oooh! But she was unwilling to submit to a man slobbering pygmy neanderthal boy shorter than her with the delusion that all women are to submit to their men and have no opinion or will of their own but instead, wake up at 5:30am every morning to chat online when she is dying of kidney failure and going to medical school and could use every precious moment of sleep available. No, it sure didn't sound like the ideal life to me. The end.

2. She doesn't go out much. Kirstin is an admitted introvert, preferring to chat online with her best friend than go out somewhere. Not always, of course. She does go out to things and has fun but then her company is 99.999% of the time of the feminine persuasion (all heterosexual, all single, fyi). Seeing point 1, you can see why she prefers feminine company.

3. She has seen the menu and doesn't really prefer anything on it. And if she does see a tasty morsel, it's usually snatched up by someone prettier, more talented, and faster than she is.

4. Men seem hopelessly unable to see her. She suspects that if she had larger boobs, a tinier waist, and a finer @$$, that her invisibility would drop like a pair of much-too-large trousers but she finds having to fit a mold distasteful. She has not met a man whose ideal she fits and she is more willing to wait for a complement to her personality rather than try to become one for someone and make the both of them unhappy.

5. It just hasn't happened yet. Wrong place, wrong time, wrong channel. The stars have just not properly aligned for her. Cupid is still looking. Her prince is in another castle.

6. And finally, I'm waiting for The Best. Not Second-Best. Not Well, He's Available. I won't settle or anything other than Best.

I'll tell you how school is going in the next entry.

6 comments:

  1. Yay for elephants!!!!

    Oh--my favorite is "Mary's died in the war in heaven", and seriously, I've have big boobs, and have been skinnier--didn't matter.

    Did you read my blog? Great article lecturing the opposite sex by Orson Scott Card!

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  2. I hear you. loud and clear. You're on your own Path, that's where it will all happen.

    As to that elephant, yep, I know just what you mean there too. WTF is up with the Scots and mental illness? (I realize we don't corner the market but still...) We have waaay more than our 'fair share' in our clan too.
    Now I'm curious about the OSC lecture.
    XOXOXOX

    LOL word verification: sucke

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  3. can I point my family to this post? you summed it up so perfectly!!

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  4. Never settle, hon. Never.

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  5. Hey, too funny that your last blog post is of the same vein as mine! :D Is there something in the water these days or what?

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  6. I'm proud of you! What a mature attitude! What's wrong with caveman? Haven't you see the Geico commercials? They're oppressed and looking for a voice...

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